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Oh delicious Polar Pop, how do I love thee?
You are the pinnacle of cold refreshing deliciousness on a hot day.
In the morning, I drive to any Circle K or BP and marvel at the crushed or cubed ice choice. I often chose crushed because it is very delicious.
By some form of magic or witchcraft, you stay cold and refreshing on my desk throughout the morning.
But you are not indestructible, if I am too forceful with you in my cup holder you will break because you are made of styrofoam.
Oh, Polar Pop, you make my morning complete. You are only 74 cents and provide me with hours of happiness.
Oh, Polar Pop, you don’t sweat on my desk like McDonald’s or Jimmy John’s drinks do.
The new love of my life.....
I love you Polar Pop. Please don’t ever change. And always please be Diet Dr. Pepper.
I just found the BEST THING EVER on dlisted today. I have posted the youtube video below and it needs NO set up but I am going to do it anyway.
Have you ever wiped your butt and said, “Man, this is hard to reach?” Well, have I found the solution for you!! The Comfort Wipe!!!
I am seriously considering buying 100 and giving them as gifts for the upcoming year (birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, baby showers…etc)
My favorite part is when the fat dude says that there are some great things about being big and some not so great things or some crap like that. I really want to know what he is thinking is the good part of being fat? Is it the thigh sweat or the diabetes? Or how about not being able to wipe your own ass because YOU’RE TOO HUGE?!!?
So, I love SNL. I have been a fan since I stayed up late one night and could understand the jokes. I am a tried and true fan through the funny and not so funny years. Maybe some of my twisted humor was cultivated from watching it every Saturday Night.
If I believed in or if there was a hell I would be going there in the future solely because I find tiny hands, birth defects, mental illness and Lawrence Welk so damn funny!
more about "Hulu – Saturday Night Live: Lawrence …", posted with vodpod
Kristen Wiig is my idol. Justin Timberlake is funny as heck too!!
more about "Hulu – Saturday Night Live: Target", posted with vodpod
So, I was a guest blogger on another blog and it took those loooozzzeeeerrrs over a month to post this post. How could they? How could they DENY the goodness that is Sorority Life?
There are some people who have experienced the goodness that is Sorority Life. There are some people (coughHannahcough) who do not believe in it’s creamy goodness. Here is my essay on why Sorority Life is the solution to many if not ALL of life’s problems.
I have recently stumbled upon my new life mission known as Sorority Life. While on the exterior it may seem like a silly little game that tout’s simple sisterhood one must play it for several hours, think about it while you are working and have dreams about accessories to truly experience it’s wonderfulnessment.
If everyone played SL, all the crazy world leaders and nutjobs would need not fight any longer. It can all be taken care of with Burn Lists and rival attacks. There is no measure of joy you can feel from attacking someone and taking all their money and terminally depressing them. It is almost orgasmic.
If everyone played SL, we would all be really skinny because you can’t eat for fear that someone will slap you and go hide in the spa so you have to be ever ready. You have to vote for your house members to keep them happy so they will in turn vote for you and not remove you from their house (such as football widow who I will now put on the Burn List).
If everyone played SL, we would all be wizards at math because you really need to know how many Prius’ you should have and that the combined charm of prius’ outweigh Hummer’s dollar for dollar. Math is crucial in figuring out if you should quit your job as an Alumni Marketer and become an Entertainment Columnist.
In summary, SL will keep you skinny, keep crazy people from trying to destroy each other and others, sharpen your math skills, provide hours of thrilling pleasure and is great for someone who cannot walk much because they have a really gross infected toe and subsequent leg cramp from walking funny.
Update: I have started two other Aliasises (or is it Aliai?) and I am tearing it up in Sorority Life land. OH, and people keep sending me requests to join stupid Mafia Wars and Celebrity Life. To that I say, whatevs (that was for you Susan). I have a full time job, a small child and can only have one obsession at a time. Ok, maybe two if you count trashy vampire novels. Ok, three if you count Sorority Life, trashy vampire novels and scouring the internet for shirtless pix of Rob Pattinson. Wait….four if you count all those things and Kristen Wiig on SNL when she has crazy little hands.
Newest addition to my blog, bitches!!! My favorite things. Oprah can suck it hard! My fave things are way cooler and funnier and cheaper!!
My new fave site (for the time being) is Cake Wrecks. There is not logical reason why I am so delighted, tickled and entertained by messed up cakes but I am.
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- Dead clowns. There is a God after all!!
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- I like the bloody feet the bestest!
